


Different ways of I Love You and how to say them

by tardisesandtitans



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attack on Titan reference!, Bellamy Blake Headcanon, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hopefully not too disgustingly sweet, I have not seen Season Four yet, Mention of Jake, Mention of Raven - Freeform, Mention of Vera Kane, Not just romantic love, Oneshot, The Illiad cameo, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, mention of Jasper, mention of gina, mention of lexa, references to other seasons and episodes, what is love?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9724502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisesandtitans/pseuds/tardisesandtitans
Summary: When you have the stress of saving the world, love can remind you there is happiness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day :) This has been partially inspired by how I spent my Valentine's Day.  
> (I ship Bellarke, but platonic love is just as important as romantic love and I think especially on Valentine's Day, people forget that. And before they fell in love- if they are in love in the show- they became friends first. Plus, I want their to be more Abby and Clarke moments- it makes my heart sink a little when Abby is trying to have a moment with Clarke and Clarke pushes her away. Clarke does it with very good reason, and I know she does love her Mom, so that's why I wrote this.   
> Lexa is also and will always be important to Clarke, other characters really and the show itself. Alycia portrayed her beautifully and as much as I hated s2 Lexa, I was distraught to see s3 Lexa killed. I know Jason Rothenberg could hve found a way so she could still be alive and for Alycia to work on FTWD, but none of us can control the creator. So, fans arguing over Lexa and harassing Bellarke shippers is pointless. Which reminds me...)
> 
> P.S If you don't like this, please do not waste your time by commenting. I'm only saying this because I'm still cautious with this fandom that deserves so much better that the immaturity and trash I've seen.  
> Enjoy!

Rustling of tent material woke Clarke, and she blearily opened her eyes to glance around. She did have nightmares, and had her worries- which weren't just about how she could save everyone.  
Then she heard footsteps, which motivated her into action. Clarke had on yesterday's clothes, but an Azgeda Grounder wouldn't care. Peeking out of her tent, instead Marcus Kane greeted her. Well, not exactly. He was creeping towards the woods and unaware of anyone who could be awake. Curious, but thinking immediately of her Mom, she smiled softly to herself- 'He really has changed' crossed her mind- and crept out to join him. Trying to be as quiet as possible with mischeivious grin, she avoided stepping on leaves and branches and continued to do so as she got closer to him.  
Her hand tapped his shoulder and how he span around was nearly comical: it was like a deer caught in the headlights at first. Then he breathed a gentle sigh of relief.  
"Sorry if I woke you." He sheepishly hissed.  
"Its fine." She leaned closer to whisper. "Going to pick some flowers?"  
He nodded. "I wanted to surprise Abby, but I wrote a note in case she'll worry."  
Clarke rolled her eyes as they continued walking quietly. "Runs in the family- do you mind if I come with you? I've been up a while and...I already told her about this, but I know I need to talk about Lexa more than once to get the guilt out of my system. Amongst other things."  
Marcus nodded again more seriously, now on the footpath to the forest.  
"Of course: Don't feel like you have to bottle everything up, Clarke. Besides, we all have something on our minds."

 

As the two brave people walked, they were silent in taking in the sights. It was beautiful. It made Clarke sad to think about how this might be gone in six months, but that was actually at the back of her mind right now. Marcus was doing the same, wondering about the tragedies of the future and how it may affect the nature and who he loved, yet he was also thinking about flowers and which ones his mother and Abby would like.  
"I know me and Abby being together must be hard for you-" Marcus started to break the now slightly awkward silence, but Clarke interrupted.  
"Not really. At first, it was. I was very mad at you two. Mom deserves to be happy and move on. We're all allowed to do that. You're much kinder than you were on the Ark." She added, feeling the need to compliment him. He chuckled.  
"It took a while. A few definetly don't like me and I don't blame them, but what does it matter when you get the privliege of being given a second chance as a decent man?"  
"You aren't alone in not being liked by everybody." She half muttered, reminding herself of when she was talking to Bellamy about forgiveness.  
"Yeah. Well, no one is liked by everybody." He exhaled. "If we all liked the same things, Clarke, the world would be a boring place. Then again, it boring and stressful are two different things."  
She hummed in response, looking around.  
"I always loved Lexa. I hated the way she betrayed us, I hated the way she acted at times, but I always loved her and I always will."  
Marcus nodded. "She'll always be special to you. She'll always be special to all of us, in a way. Me and Abby didn't like some of her actions either, but without her, there wouldn't have been her 'blood must not have blood' legacy. And she couldn't have got there without you. You inspired each other, like how Abby inspires me."  
A warmer, more confident and relaxed smile overtook her face. "Thanks. In ways, Lexa made me stronger, and what we had gave me advice on how to be a better leader and a better person."  
Smiling at Clarke, Marcus then looked at the flowers beyond them. Twigs, leaves and colourful small petals greeted them.  
It was so breathtaking Clarke felt like sketching. She loved nature. It was cruel but beautiful. That was a line from an old Japanese cartoon Jasper watched once in Mount Weather, and it felt very relevant. Forever relevant.  
They began collecting what they thought looked best. 

"We shouldn't stay long, but you can go back." Marcus said as he walked with a small arrangement of pretty twigs and flowers to Vera's tree, Clarje following him.  
"If you need privacy, I'll give that to you but I don't want to face them right now. Plus, I can be a shoulder to cry on." She kept looking forward, focused on Vera's tree. She never got the chance to talk to Vera on the Ark, but from what she heard she was a wonderful woman. Anyone passionate about anything was wonderful to Clarke. Marcus knelt down in front of the tree, placing Vera's flowers on the soil.  
"Mom showed me this once- she said lovely things about Vera, and you."  
"She did?" Despite the different emotions he was feeling, Marcus smiled a little. "Abby is so kind. Always thinking of others. That's where you two are most alike. Intelligent, strong but most of all caring." He then spoke to the tree, saying hello and how much he missed her and how everyone was surviving.  
"By the way, Clarke's here. You only met her once, but she's saving the world now. Abby and I... we're together now. My love for her grows even stronger every day. She inspires me, Mom. So do you. You have been and you remain my biggest inspiration, and I'm sorry for how I was on the Ark. The way you forgave me so easily...I wondered often how you could do that. Then I remember the times Bellamy went through recently and I know. Our past is relevant in making who we are. And I have hope in all of us."  
Tears welling up, he felt Clarke's hand on his shoulder. Grateful, he reached out with his spare hand and laid his on top of it.  
"I miss you everyday. I hope that I am doing right by you, and making you proud. That's all I've ever really wanted. Hopefully you're with Dad, Callie and Jake. Happy Valentine's Day." He removed his hand from Clarke and took a minute to wipe his eyes. "Bye, Mom. I pray I'll get the chance to visit you again. May we meet again."  
Clarke stepped back so he could stand, and he saw that she was wiping her own eyes too.  
"That was beautiful. It made me think of Dad and how he's doing."  
She began crying, and felt the comfort of Marcus' warm hug.

They began to walk back after a few secongs. Feet crunching on the ground, Clarke began talking again.  
"Moments like this...I didn't realise how much I missed them; talking to someone about feelings. I feel a bit better."  
Marcus smiled again.  
"I'm very glad you do. I'm happier as well, but I know that's not all you wanted to talk about." He insisted knowingly, which led their walking to cease. "Tell me. It's the least I can do."  
Clarke closed her eyes and knew talking about her thoughts would relieve her a little. She took a calming breath before opening them.  
"I- When you were on the Ark, were you torn between whoever you were with and my Mom?"  
Not expecting that, Marcus hesistated before nodding curtly.  
"Yes. I tried not- I felt guilt. Is that part of what you feel?"  
"Yeah. I- I'm torn between Lexa and Bellamy. I mean, I don't love Bellamy romantically. I'm not that sure." Marcus couldn't resist smiling a bit- that was how he felt about Abby.  
"Clarke. You aren't betraying Lexa. If you think you're betraying bisexuality, you aren't. You love Lexa and Bellamy. That's fine. We don't get to decide who we love. The only people we get to choose are our friends. And before you fell for them, you chose them to be your friends. That's how love works- you develop a bond first. And I don't meanjus romantic love. You love Bellamy. You aren't in love with him, are you?"  
Clarke hesitated in her thoughts.  
"...I don't think I am. I'm not sure."  
Marcus lay a hand on Clarke's shoulder, and the teenager looked up at him.  
"That's all you need to worry about. We all worry too much- we have enough on our hands. The point I'm trying to make is that we all overthink about love too much. It's natural to do that, just as natural as love itself is. Whenever it was that I fell for your Mom, I know she felt the same guilt you do and that I do- I felt like I was betraying Jake and Abby felt that way about him. But our loved ones, dead or alive, don't want us to be miserable and lonely. Happiness is important. And if Bellamy makes you happy, that's all that matters."  
Clarke mused this over- happiness is important. How can someone be happy when they're surrounded by death? Yet with Bellamy, he feels like a close friend, like Raven and Jasper and Monty and everyone else. Sometimes Clarke wonders if Bellamy loves her, and talking to Marcus made her realise he does, platonically. He must do, or he wouldn't check up on her so often. He wouldn't have told her she inspires him. He wouldn't have talked to her so much about his life on the Ark and even the bad times on the Ark, which admittedly was most times anyway.  
He wouldn't have called her Princess so often in his caring way. The question that sometimes played on Ckarke's mind though was if it was love or the romantic love? Does he sometimes feel like he is betraying Gina?  
Curiousity drives people, after all.

"Mom will like this. Maybe not me sneaking out, but I love her too much not to do this and she knows that. Right?" She stopped in her tracks again, a few feet away from the camp entrance.  
"Of course she does, Clarke. Abby is your mother. I believe that parents always love their children, even when they act like they don't. The bond is too strong."  
Clarke tried to ignore her face crumpling again.  
"I keep pushing her away. Do you know, in all this time I've been on the ground, we haven't had a proper moment of peace? Whenever we talk, its just our freedom as the human race or love interests. And when I do say 'I love you', it's just before I leave. Typical..."  
"Don't hang on to that then. Go to her." Marcus said, before he saw Abby and Bellamy talking.

Clarke nearly felt tears well up in his eyes embracing her Mom.  
"You had me worried." Her mother's vouce was evident she was trying not to cry. Was she talking about their relationship to her closest friend?  
Clarke pulled away at arms length, smiling and began to wipe her mother's tears. "I just wanted to show you how much I love you, Mom. We got you flowers." Marcus beamed as he gave his half of the flowers to Abby, kissing her cheek.  
"I hope you got my note."  
Abby nodded happily, Bellamy chuckling softly as she beamed at Clarke's flowers.  
"You two, this is beautiful. Thank you." Abby hugged them both.  
"Happiness is important, and we could all use that. We need eachother, and I don't think I've been showing you that lately." Clarke said, grinning at her Mom then Marcus.  
"You're off saving the world."  
"Hey. There's never an excuse to forget your pare- you know what I mean." Abby laughed a bit, and Clarke smiled genuinely. That's what she'd been missing the most: making the person she loved the most smile.  
"I'm going to talk to put these lovely things away, then talk to Jackson." Abby stated happily, then walked off.  
Bellamy stepped closer to Clarke and hugged her. Marcus thought it would be best if he left them to talk, so he left them alone.  
"I thought I'd have to save you again."  
"Then you should have come and get me- joking. You know I can take care of myself. Besides, I was with Marcus."  
"Not that I knew that until a few minutes ago, butv yeah. And I figred you were doing something for your Mom."  
Clarke giggled. She hadn't done that for a while. The last time was also with Bellamy though.

"Do you want to do something for Gina?"  
"Already did. I've not told many people this, but I'm starting to believe in that spirituality- you know, because you kept talking about the chip and Grounder culture."  
Clarke nearly caught her breath. Its not like he hadn't listened to her before, but that was so important. He was believing Gina was looking diwn on him, and in a way he was caring about Lexa and respecting her.  
Bellamy was, as always, oblivious.  
"So I began talking to the copy of The Illiad she gave me. As if she was there. When she was still alive, we read together from The Illiad. And I read her favourite story from it outloud, and told her I miss her. And that I'm trying to make her proud everyday. I loved her. She was and remains my light."  
Clarke smiled at his words. She didn't feel jealousy, but fondness that someone made him so happy. Maybe that was called being in love. Could you be in love with someone platonically?

"If we do get any free time, or you have a nightmare because I know you do, we can read from it together. And we can talk too like we're normal and a bitch of an A.I wasn't trying to kill us all just recently."  
Clarke beamed up at him, and he was looking into her eyes too.  
It felt so easy to say three words then, but what would those words mean from their mouths?  
Instead, Clarke asked if he could read her some.  
So, Bellamy got his copy out, and they went underneath a tree and her read some to her, Clarke's soft golden hair on his broad shoulder.  
She felt safe. They all did. They all felt free and happy.  
They all felt like they could conquer and thrive, and they all felt love.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if some of the characters are OOC or the dialogue isn't great. I'm a sensitive person and in a affectionate, loving mood which I think may have come through in my story XD   
> My first story for The 100 alone. If you want to read something happier, please check out my crossover with Attack on Titan!  
> Leave a comment if you want to, but please just nice ones XD


End file.
